Handyman
by HeathenVampires
Summary: Modern AU. Astrid has a bit of a fixer upper house, and the handyman she hires is just a little too attractive for her to handle calmly. Rated T for some swearing and a lot of impure thoughts. Hiccstrid prompt, if you didn't get that.


**A quickie/experiment for me.**

 **Astrid has an eye for the handyman. Lots of Pervstrid and impure thoughts.**

 **If anyone guesses the book I referenced _vaguely..._ well done!**

-HTTYD-

Sat at the kitchen table, eyeing her prey surreptitiously over a rapidly-cooling mug of peach tea, Astrid couldn't decide if she was too hot or too cold. The cold air circulating was on account of the back door being open, having a busted lock sorted after Dagur had drunkenly tried to open the door with a screwdriver two nights back.

The hot, flustered feeling was on account of the repairman fixing it..

His choppy reddish-brown hair was occasionally blowing in the wind, fringe hanging in forest-green eyes currently focused intently on his task. Teeth worried at a thin lower lip in concentration, and Astrid spent about ten percent of the time he was there fighting the urge to kiss it better. The other ninety percent of the time was spent resisting the urge to mount him and insist he put those talented hands to better use.

Hiccup (his parents _clearly_ had a sense of humour) wiped sweaty hands on his ragged, scruffy work jeans that Astrid wanted to see on her bedroom floor, then tested the shiny new keys in the shiny new lock. He bent down - Odin, his ass was _spectacular_ \- and moved his toolbox out of the way, stepping through to close and open the door, checking the latch mechanism.

"Alright, that's all done. You need anything else doing today?"

 _Yes. Me!_

"No, I think I'm good for now."

Hiccup smiled disarmingly, taking a glance around.

"I've never had such a regular customer."

Astrid felt he must be lying. Surely there were more women out there left in heat because of his great ass and green eyes.

"That's the problem with old houses I guess. My gramps would never have paid someone to fix stuff."

"Well, you know how to get hold of me."

She paid him, he left. It always sucked when he left. He took a wonderful view with him, not to mention he had a contagious laugh and liked to crack jokes. Astrid had had him out five times now, to fix old doors and leaky pipes - she had moved in to her grandparents house when they died, an only child of an only child, and the place had fallen into a little disrepair when they were old and ailing.

Somewhat juvenile, Astrid had picked the local handyman based on the picture of a fish on the advert. He had positive reviews, which helped. The unusual black van rather than traditional white, with green eyes painted on the side, had looked most peculiar the first time it pulled up to her house.

Then Hiccup had stepped out and Astrid half considered using his own van to kidnap him.

"So, what seems to be the problem?"

 _I have a very strong urge to ride you like a dragon._

"A few things" he had really pretty eyes "like busted hinges, couple of pipes need replacing" Astrid couldn't believe anyone was allowed to be _so_ attractive "and just general wear and tear. It was my grandpa's house and stuff got neglected while he was sick."

Hiccup had given her a soft smile, sympathetic without being pitying.

"I can fix that."

The hour and a half he spent inventorying the damage and working out what parts needed ordering and what tools he would need had been beautiful torture for Astrid. His jeans were worn in, just a little loose on narrow hips and they slid down whenever he leant over or stretched up. Astrid was almost too familiar with the dip of his lower back, the shape of his lean abdominal muscles.

Not as familiar as she wanted to be though.

Then he kept coming back, several hours of agonising and highly enjoyable time for Astrid watching him work. He fixed the shed in the middle of summer, sweating clean through his shirt until the cotton clung to his slim torso. Astrid brought him cold drinks so he didn't die, and enjoyed the sight of the muscles in his throat working.

Hanging new photo fixtures on the recently plastered wall along the stair case meant lots of stretching, which Astrid loitered around to watch from the hallway. She invited Heather over to validate the ridiculous attraction, but her best friend was entirely unhelpful and failed to see how beautiful he was.

Astrid only let her off because Heather had a very different type; her boyfriend Justin was huge, blond and worked in a library. Loved order and organization. Hiccup was lean, hair a rich shade of autumn and spent all his time tinkering, surrounded by tools and bolts and bits and pieces. Unfortunately _not_ tinkering with Astrid.

"Ask him out!"

"No! If he says no it'll be really awkward when he comes to plumb my pipes... stop laughing!"

Heather continued snickering into her hand, stretching out on Astrid's sofa and perusing the bare walls. Astrid kept meaning to paint and wallpaper but then she had work and then there was a cute guy coming to fill holes in places...

"What's he coming over for next?"

Astrid hummed.

"I don't know. I haven't broken it yet."

Heather snorted, choking and spluttering on her Dr Pepper.

"Are you breaking stuff on purpose to get him over here?"

No. Absolutely not. Things just... needed fixing. That was Astrid's story and she was sticking to it.

"No! The last thing he fixed was the lock _your_ brother busted."

"Oh yeah, when he decided half a bottle of apple sours was a great idea, then apparently thought he was a spy."

As 'luck' would have it, Astrid woke the next morning to find her night-time laundry load had somehow broken her washing machine. A very offended cat was glaring at the wet floor, yowling at Astrid when she squeaked in surprise at stepping into a flood.

Hiccup's number was practically on speed dial now, and Astrid dialled as she opened the back door to push excess water out of, then kicked herself and apologised for the early hour.

"It's fine, my moms up at six every day and I'm still living with her til I find my own place. Be there in an hour? I'm just out walking the dog."

"No rush, but yeah. Thanks."

Astrid hauled the sodden clothes out of the drum, dumped them in a basket and set about trying to make the floor suitable to at least walk on. Stormfly had leapt outside the instant Astrid opened the door, basking in early morning sunshine while Astrid continued to push out water, then ran the mop over the old tiles. They were ruined anyway, but Astrid was putting off the whole decorating thing until she decided for or against asking Hiccup if he wanted the job.

Hiccup raised an eyebrow when Astrid answered the door, and she realised with a hint of embarrassment that she had yet to change out of her vest-and-shorts sleepwear. He said nothing, stepping in when Astrid moved aside to let him pass. He headed straight for the kitchen, leaving Astrid to close the door and grab a dressing gown from the clean washing pile in the cupboard.

"You have a cat don't you?"

Astrid nodded, having been enjoying his 'serious' concentrating face for the last twenty minutes as he knelt on a waterproof sheet he brought with him, taking a cursory look for the cause of the leak.

"Yeah, why?"

"I'm just imagining the look of contempt on a cats face when finding the room they eat in has turned into one giant bath tub."

"Yeah... Stormfly wasn't impressed."

Hiccup had slowly and methodically taken half the machine apart before he found the problem, talking technical to Astrid when she was just hoping fixing it included him either getting a wet t-shirt or having to bend over a lot.

Bonus if it was both.

"I can fix this today?"

"That would be great. I don't know how I make so much washing I am only one person."

Gorgeous green eyes slid over to the wash basket Astrid had dumped the wet laundry in, stubbled cheeks turning a faint shade of pink. Astrid's eyes followed his gaze, her own cheeks heating a tad when she spied some of her underthings had wound up on the top of the haphazard pile.

"Never seen a girls undies before Haddock?"

He cleared his throat, then turned back to the job at hand and Astrid kicked herself for potentially making things awkward. Thankfully - or perhaps not - her underwear was not mentioned again as she dragged the wet basket to hang outside. It smelled clean enough, but she could always run it through again when the machine was repaired if not.

Astrid really rather wished Hiccup would take a good look at her underwear. Particularly as he was removing it. Then he could get a good look at far more important things. Hopefully do more than just _look..._

He spent a while repairing the machine, breaking a sweat and Astrid watched, riveted, as Hiccup pulled up his t-shirt to wipe his face. It exposed his slender stomach, abdominal muscles flexing slightly for her viewing pleasure. The t-shirt fell back down, and Astrid clocked a little too late that he was talking and she hadn't heard a word.

"Are you ok?"

Astrid nodded quickly, then decided she _really_ ought to get dressed properly that day. She was still in sleepwear. Trusting Hiccup to do his job and not burgle her home, Astrid left him to it while she went upstairs, showered quickly and put on clothes at last. The t-shirt and cargo shorts she put on weren't covering much more skin than sleepwear had, but it seemed more appropriate at least.

Her thoughts during the shower and when she was naked were rather... _less_ appropriate. It was all a bit bad porn cliche in her mind, Hiccup appearing in her bathroom offering to fix nothing in particular and 'accidentally' discovering her naked.

She descended the stairs again, finding Hiccup had fixed the issue had and was now putting her machine back together. That meant he would be leaving soon.

"Do you have another job on today?"

Hiccup shook his head.

"Uh... no. It's actually my day off. Or was."

"Oh gods, you should have said! I didn't mean to take up your self care day."

Hiccup shrugged, smiling.

"No trouble. You are good enough company that it's _like_ a day off here. Did you have something else I can fix?"

Astrid shook her head. She had been wanting to get him to stay, but it was his day off and she felt incredibly guilty now.

"I'm guessing you intend to re-tile this floor?"

"Yeah..."

Hiccup smiled.

"My uncle runs a hardware store, Gobber's Gears?"

"I know it, yeah."

He was still smiling. Astrid wondered if he would notice her licking his face.

"Tell him I sent you and he'll fix you right up."

 _I want you to fix me right up!_

Astrid took in a deep breath, suppressing rampant desires for the handyman.

"Oh. Thanks. Feel free to leave and enjoy the rest of your day, I am so sorry for ruining your day off."

He waved off her concerns, took his money and left with more of those smiles she adored on his lips. She left the back door open to help dry out the kitchen for a while, bundling up against the constant chill bouncing off the wet floor and biting its way through the house.

Sadly for her, nothing in her house broke for at least a fortnight. That was a long time not to ogle a perfect posterior leaning over some bath tub or machine. When Astrid finally admitted she needed to start decorating, she took herself off to the recommended hardware store. The owner, Gobber she assumed, was like a walking advert with a hammer where most people would have put a prosthetic arm.

"Can I help ye lass?"

Astrid realised she was 'lass' and smiled at the strange man with a braided, miles-long moustache and not a single beard hair.

"Oh. Yeah. Your nephew told me to come because I need kitchen tiles."

"Ah! Ye must be Astrid."

Her eyes widened.

"Has he been talking about me?"

Ok, she might have asked that a _little_ aggressively. Gobber definitely noticed.

"Oh aye. Ne'er shuts up about his favourite customer. So, what sorta colour ye after?"

Astrid left with some nice blue tiles she hoped wouldn't set the scene for a washing-machine-induced ocean, then picked up chicken-flavoured cat treats on the way home to pacify the disgruntled cat waiting. She was greeted by a huff and even a little hiss.

"Stormfly! Don't look at me like that, I have to go out and work to keep you in good chicken."

Gods, she was arguing with her cat. Not even especially well. Stormfly flicked her tail dismissively, but suddenly Astrid was her favourite person when the chicken treats appeared. Rubbing against her legs, purring, mewling. The whole nine.

"Thought so. Here you go you blackmailing ball of fur."

Satisfied, Stormfly left to groom herself loudly in the centre of Astrid's favourite chair. It was only midday, Astrid was bored. Heather and Dagur were at work, and trying to decorate only made Astrid wish she were rolling around on a dust sheet getting messy with her handyman.

The door knocked, surprising her hugely and Astrid answered it with some trepidation. Her belly fluttered in anticipation - she told it off mentally - as she found a vision in messy work jeans.

"Did I call you?"

Hiccup chuckled slightly, rubbing the back of his head.

"No. I was driving back from a job and I noticed your upstairs window rattling. Figured I should offer to fix it as a thank you for my uncle being a total embarrassment."

Astrid blinked, then stood aside to let him in. She was hardly about to kick him out. Hiccup stepped in, the familiar sight of his black van outside making Astrid smile despite herself. He had toolbox in hand, preparing to make Astrid liquid inside as he did all sorts of things that showed he was good with his hands. Gods she wanted to put that to better use already, a couple of weeks apart not dulling the burning attraction she had for him.

"All he said was I was your favourite customer. Isn't that a compliment?"

Hiccup, stood by the window of one of the empty bedrooms looking for the source of the rattle, shrugged. It was a chilly day out but the sun was bright in a near-white sky. Astrid was glad of her bra that day, hiding the effect of the cold on her and allowing her to enjoy the sun highlighting the red of Hiccup's hair.

"He's usually worse than that."

They lapsed into silence as Hiccup tightened this and adjusted that, pushing the window open wider and having to lean out rather adorably - seriously he had the _best ass ever_ \- to retrieve it.

"Nice double glazing job. You shouldn't need those redone."

"Yeah, my gramps liked to save money on fuel bills. That's why I've had so much trouble with plumbing, he never put the heating on and so there was no way to know the pipes were damaged by years of freezing over."

Hiccup chuckled slightly.

"Sounds like my dad. At least his brothers a plumber, warned him to wad his pipes or something."

"Is everyone in your family a fixer?"

His eyes strayed off to the side, thinking.

"I'm a handyman, dad's a mechanic. Uncle Spite is a plumber. Uncle Gobber runs a hardware store and also toys with blacksmithing on the side. My mom's a vet, so she fixes animals. My best friend Eret is an engineer... oh, and my aunt works for Apple, fixing stuff. Haddocks like to fix things I guess?"

Astrid could only stare slightly as she processed all the information she was just hit with. Hiccup seemed to realise, cheeks tinging pink.

"Sorry! I don't tend to talk about my personal life with customers. Kind of a rule of mine, actually."

"Your secrets are safe with me."

He smiled.

"That's a relief. Your window should stay rattle free now."

When Astrid tried to pay him for it, he refused.

"I turned up and insisted you let me fix it. It would be rude to charge you for that."

Astrid pondered.

"At least let me make you a drink to say thanks?"

"Oh... if you insist."

He was smiling again. Astrid wanted to bite him. She must be due her period soon because fuck she was worse than usual. Or maybe it had been the two week dry spell of staring at his ass breaking unexpectedly.

"Tea? Coffee? I figure no alcohol since you're driving."

"Why miss Hofferson, were you planning to get me drunk?"

"No?"

Astrid couldn't get him drunk. If he was drunk she couldn't fuck him stupid. Astrid didn't do sloppy, sober was a must. She was putting a lot of thought into the non-answer.

"Just checking" he fucking _winked_ "coffee would be great. I'll just go wash this sealant out from under my nails."

Sitting at her kitchen table, with cat hair and cat treats and cat toys piled up by Stormfly as if to say "this is how much I don't want them", plus one of the packs of tiles she bought, Astrid was able to observe him at rest for a change. He jiggled his leg and tapped his knee, and he hummed to himself in a tune Astrid couldn't place. It frustrated her to the point she asked.

"What are you humming?"

"Oh" he looked a tad embarrassed "It's uh... Fixer upper from _Frozen._ It's sort of a guilty pleasure film of mine."

Astrid grinned.

"Follow me."

Bemused, Hiccup picked up his mug and followed her as requested. Astrid pulled open the living room cupboard, displaying a DVD cabinet brimming with every kind of movie.

"Disney is **not** a guilty pleasure. I even have the _Frozen_ soundtrack."

Hiccup chuckled, giving Astrid a once over.

"What?"

"I don't know, I just never had you down as a princess type."

"Well I do favour the ones that don't revolve around a man. Plus Elsa's powers are a representation of mental health issues and how they get pushed aside when they should be accepted and understood. What's not to love? I am jealous of her hair though."

"You have lovely hair."

Astrid wasn't sure who was more surprised he said it, Hiccup or herself.

"Thanks."

She felt oddly shy for a second, then shook it off and closed her DVD cabinet. The living room showed the most signs of life, though it was in desperate need of repainting and a decision about whether to replace old shagpile carpets with new carpet or wooden floors. Astrid liked wooden floors more but wasn't sure about the cold winter feet thing.

Plus she wanted to keep the old school fireplace. It would be a great place for a rug she could throw Hiccup on to...

Oh shit, he was talking.

"-and that's why I always make jelly with fresh orphans."

" _What?_ "

Hiccup started laughing.

"Sorry, I could see you weren't listening so I did my little joke. I was asking if you had anything else planned with your day?"

"Oh. Uh. Not a clue. I was about to die of boredom when you came and fixed that."

His laugh was lovely. Astrid wondered if he made lovely noises during sex.

"I... _what_ did you just say?"

Oh. _Oh no._ Astrid had said that out loud.

"I am so sorry I'm just going to go hide away in shame right now. Feel free to leave and I'll find a new handyman."

Mortified, she prepared to run away. Maybe to a desert island to live off coconuts. What would she tell her parents? Stormfly would love it, unlimited sunlight to laze in. Maybe Heather would visit to get a tan.

"Astrid!"

Snapped out of her deciding which the equator she would live on and whether there would be Wi-Fi, Astrid looked at him.

"Yeah?"

"I uh... this is awkward. Do you... _like_ me?"

Astrid swallowed thickly. She was already wishing the floor would open up and swallow her... what was a little more embarrassment?

"I don't _know_ you."

He seemed momentarily disappointed. Astrid wanted to kiss away the faint frown.

"That's fair."

In a jumbled haste to take the sadness from his face, Astrid tried to compliment him. It went terribly wrong on the way to her mouth.

What she had meant to say was "you're good at your job though."

What _came out_ was "I'd like to find out if you're good with your hands."

Realising what had actually escaped her mouth, Astrid clapped a hand over it in horror.

"I am so sorry I'm just going to move to Guam or something now."

Hiccup, rather than declare her insane and call the police or jump out of a window like any sane man should, burst out laughing.

"Your face! Oh, that was priceless!"

He laughed openly and happily, making Astrid unsure whether he would notice her leaving to pack for fleeing the country.

"Sorry, I've just never heard anything so... direct. And since it was clearly accidental, I can only imagine how your mouth would get if you were being intentional."

"I don't know you can handle it, I've got a pretty dirty mouth."

 _Why_ wasn't she just shutting up? Maybe Hiccup could fix the broken filter between her brain and mouth. He just kept snickering and chortling like Astrid embarrassing herself was the funniest thing ever.

"I uh, I can't fix that."

Astrid wished someone could. Then she could stop embarrassing herself in front of the hot guy. It was rude of him really, no man had ever flustered her so.

"No. But wouldn't mind leaving so I can die of shame..."

"Do you _want_ me to go?"

"No. Yes! Oh, I don't know. You confuse me and frustrate me and it's been driving me crazy for months!"

He looked to be steeling himself, then took a step forward and held a tentative hand toward Astrid. She took it slowly, finding herself pulled in close and gods he smelled like exertion and the remnants of a woodsy aftershave on his lean neck. Heart pounding, Astrid looked up to see him leaning in.

"I can fix that."

-HTTYD-

 **This not so quick quickie ended up like twice as long as I expected... ah well.**

 **Hope everyone enjoyed their Pervstrid!**


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